Бяло Тото 2010

Thursday, June 17, Polokwane

Let me start this digest by expressing the White Toto bunch’s collective disappointment with Denkisa. We are all shocked and appalled with Denkisa’s inability to predict correctly the outcome of the Spain-Switzerland game. Let me remind you that Denkisa was the only one to predict a draw. A DRAW! I mean, of all games, to get THAT sign wrong – this speaks of total lack of knowledge, skills and sense. It is a pity that our group must endure such acts of delusion, produced in contrast to the opinion of everyone else in the bunch. But let’s charitably put this unfortunate predictions episode behind us and not mention it again, for Denkisa’s sake.

The Swiss made a mess of it on Wednesday – first with their team upsetting favourites Spain, then with Bellinzona-born ref Busacca effectively ending South Africa’s dream of progressing beyond the group with a red card and penalty for a forgivable infraction. I am confident that last one pleased FIFA Boss Joseph ‘Seth’ Blatter immensely and upon his return to Switzerland the latter will summon Mr. Busacca to his office and assist him to an exciting secret passageway ride to a exciting pool full of excited sharks with the pressing of a little red button.

We have been lucky to get a live feed from our Swiss correspondent, Pavkata, on the victorious mood in Basel after 6pm local time yesterday. With the exception of the select crowd of Women, Americans and Auditors (WAAs) in the Novartis campus, it would appear that the rest of the Swiss did not skip the golden opportunity to celebrate their victory in their traditional style – all-out mayhem and explosive anarchy! The cappuccino consumption per capita for the evening tripled (please find attached a picture illustrating cappuccino overdose by our correspondent)! Ruccola sales were off the charts! It has been reported that one wacko even turned on his vacuum cleaner at 8.01 pm, 59 seconds after town lockdown – an act so terrifying that the whole Basel-City canton came together to make a citizen’s arrest and Save the Children*.

Later that night, the hornets were angrier than usual in Pretoria during South Africa’s game against Uruguay as Diego Forlan punished the few steps outside the goal frame of goalie Khunev with the first Jabulani shot on goal from outside the box this Tournament. After the match, Pretoria media cornered the former Mamelodi Sundowns coach, currently down in South Africa to combine a little safari action with a rendezvous with his good friend Maradonata. He had this match summary: ‘the white play with shooting, very well to score, the yellow and zeleno I’m no like.’

In White Toto affairs, Mostuna strengthened his lead with the highest daily total on Wednesday (together with Vasko Raichev) and now has spent three days atop the leaderboard, which puts pressure on his team of freshmanki match data analysers / scenario planners. Ned San also remains hot, keeping pace in second place. K-Lo gets his first goal difference guessed while Kunev and Krum have gone cold, with 1.1 point since the first Monday game and 0 tally on Wednesday together with new-born risk taker Kole.

A strong hit took those who predicted Spain would be champions, but it still looks like Spain are likely to progress with two victories in their remaining games, despite the fact that Chile looked capable and dangerous against Honduras. Another strong hit was landed on everyone’s predictions for goalscorer, as not only did NONE of the predicted goalscorer favourites score in the first round of group play, but Diego Forlan was the first to score two goals and a potential two more against Mexico plus a goal in Uruguay’s Round of 16 defeat just might make him the surprising top goal scorer of the Tournament.

Turning to Thursday’s games, the organizers’ scheduling genius has put the most exciting game – Argentina – S. Korea in the unwatchable 2pm time slot, while the dreadfully unexciting Greece-Nigeria game is scheduled at 5pm and outsiders France will try to get a point out of Mexico at 9.30pm. Looking at the predictions – Vasko R and Kole seem to know something the rest of us don’t as they have predicted a draw in the Argentina-S.Korea game while all the rest favour the Albiceleste. Greece-Nigeria predictions go three-way as do France-Mexico predictions, with plenty of smart people favouring Mexico.

Totsiens,

Park Ban Ka

P.s. It is with great joy that I can inform you that BNT is making excellent progress on two important initiatives:

1. The Quest to Invite the Worst-Spoken ex-Football Player as Studio Commentator. After Georgi Slavchev, Atanas Furnadjiev, Emil Velev and Kiril Kachamanov the bar is raised high, but we hear that scheduled next are Georgi Iordanov-Lamiata, Valeri Bojinov and Georgi Iliev-Michaela, so we are destined for success!

2. The battle for airtime possession between live and studio commentary. While live commentary started strong with 54% possession over the weekend, studio commentary is gaining speed and now has 51% possession. Hooray!

* One must Save the Children, because The Children Are Our Future.